Straight Boys Don't
by jessicaLife is rules. His whole life, this is what Clark has been told.
Speak when you're spoken to. Homework and chores before TV. Call if you're going to be late.
There are other rules too. Like the one he's had burned into his brain since he could understand the words his parents said: never let anyone see you.
That one doesn't seem to matter much right now.
It's not fast and fevered like he thought it was supposed to be. But it's still Lex under his hands and on his lips, and that, Clark thinks, is what makes it right.
His father taught him right from wrong but they didn't talk about this. When they did talk about this it was in awkward hypotheticals, alluding to Chloe or Lana. The conversations were still awkward at seventeen, the way Clark remembered them being at thirteen.
Because, even in Smallville, Clark already knew the things that straight boys do. He was just discovering the things that straight boys don't.
Clark is strong; Lex knows this. But it's just a hand pressed flat against his chest that has Clark on the couch.
The room is dark and if he wanted to, Clark could imagine this wasn't happening. Instead, he keeps his eyes open and watches everything.
They're in the loft, on the couch where he has imagined this happening more times than it ever will in his lifetime. The couch may be small, but this is where it's supposed to happen. Clark's never had the best of luck with Lana or Chloe in this space; but Lex, even with his suits and ties, has always belonged here.
The tie is long gone. And Clark gets Lex's shirt and his own off, goes to work on his jeans before Lex says a word.
"Wait."
"Why?" Clark breathes, sucking kisses up the smooth chest and swallowing Lex's words before they can leave his mouth.
Lex tries again but there's a tongue in his mouth to silence the protests and a hand clawing down his back to make him forget. Clark arches his hips and holds them tight together with the hand low on Lex's back and the words disappear completely.
It's fast and fevered now. They're half-dressed and sweating, even in the autumn cold. Lex breaks the kiss but not their connection, Clark's hands are still tight on his hips. He licks a stripe down Clark's neck and then comes, with salt on his tongue and a sigh on his breath.
Clark follows soon after, with a giggle. Lex pushes himself up from Clark's chest and cocks his head at the sound.
"That's new," he says curiously.
"Shut up."
Clark pulls Lex back down, attacking his mouth again with a renewed ferocity. He flips them over, sitting up above Lex, suddenly in control. Clark stops, for only a moment, then throws the remaining clothes away and manoeuvres them on the couch, with strength and speed that tells more truth than words.
Because with the rules that guide Clark's life come the lies.
It's easy to lie to Smallville, a town as willing to hide as Jonathan Kent. With everything that's happened, and everything that will, they still don't ask the right questions, but continue to look the wrong way.
He doesn't feel bad keeping his secret from Chloe or Pete or Lana. In so many different ways, the gawky kid they call Clark isn't the same one they grew up with.
He knows that he should tell them. They might hate him but they'll all agree it'll make the weirdness, human and not, easier to deal with.
Most times Clark thinks the lies are easier. Until it's Lex asking the questions.
"Are you sure?"
Lex hadn't even blinked when Clark put the condom in his hand. But after ripping the foil with his teeth and giving himself an unconcious tug back to hardness, Lex stops, looks up at Clark. The questions are always harder to ignore when they're coming from Lex.
"Are you sure?" he asks again. "I want you to be very sure about this."
"I am."
Clark flips them over again, gentle this time. The hand lotion isn't Lex's first choice but he slicks his fingers anyway. Clark squeezes his eyes shut at the first touch and Lex pauses, waits.
"It doesn't hurt," Clark says and opens his eyes for Lex. "Keep going. I'm okay."
Laid out next to him, Lex runs a hand through Clark's hair, kisses his cheek, before pressing his fingers inside. Clark lets his eyes slide closed again at the touch. Turning his head, looking for Lex's mouth, Clark finds it.
It's a wet kiss, with tongues and lips that are shy but eager. It's a tongue inside Clark's mouth when he bites down with the sudden pleasure of Lex's fingers hooked inside his body.
"Sorry," Clark mumbles against lips, sucking Lex's tongue in apology. "Sorry," he says again, the coppery taste in his mouth.
Lex forgives with another finger and an evil grin when Clark twists with pleasure again.
"Straight boys don't know about that, do they?" Clark breathes.
A quick kiss and another finger opens Clark up and off the couch.
"Not many," Lex says through the grin.
Shaking hard, Clark lets his head fall back, lets Lex position them on the couch, awkward, clinical almost, until Lex stops. And laughs.
Clark opens his eyes with a wary look. "What?"
"I lost the condom." Lex laughs again and cranes his neck, searching the loft around the leg over his shoulder.
"That's okay," Clark whispers, reaching an arm back. "I have more."
There are no questions because even straight boys have condoms hidden in their rooms. Instead, Lex shakes his head, smiling like he's almost got Clark Kent figured. Lex leans down and kisses him gently. Then the smallest movement and Clark is suddenly filled with Lex and he can't hide anymore.
Clark doesn't want to hide anymore. But his dad's right; he can't tell everyone. Clark just wants to tell the right one.
Lex tries to go slow because it's the first time, but it's Clark's first time and he wants more. He wants it fast. Fevered. The way it's supposed to be. It's faster than either imagined, over when Clark's mouth falls open with Lex's name. It shouldn't be comfortable when Lex collapses but Clark only squeezes tighter.
The air is different but it's still cold and Lex shivers when the sweat on his skin starts to freeze. Clark turns them to the side, trapping Lex between the warmth of the couch and his body.
They kiss, between grins and laughs. Clark can't stop smiling and he's hard again.
"I want to do it more. With you," Clark says. "Can we do it more?"
Lex doesn't say anything but does kiss Clark harder, different.
There's something in Lex's eyes, brighter now, but it's been there before. Clark sees it in Lex every time that Lex sees Clark. And now Clark knows that the way Lex treats him, the way he touches him, the way he's looked at him since Clark brought him back to life, is something straight boys don't.
But it's okay. Because this is the Clark he wants people to see.
10/25/02