title: this morning
author: jessica
mail: thegirlinglasses@illuminatedtext.com
date: april 03, 2003
||||
Some mornings we're so tangled up, one can't get up without waking the other. This morning, I roll onto his side when Clark gets out of the bed. Through bleary eyes I watch him brush his teeth at the counter. Clark doesn't close the door to pee and it makes me think we've been together too long. He's always aware of me. The same way Superman senses danger, Clark always know when I'm sneaking up on him with a kiss. He acts surprised every time.
I think I fall asleep again. Dinner with Lois went long; it usually does. By the time Clark and I stumbled into bed, he made me promise to take the morning off, to sleep in. I remember mumbling something about Luthors being early risers, but it's all crap because when I open my eyes, Clark's walking back into the room and I've missed his shower.
He walks across the room, scrubbing his hair with a towel. Clark opens the curtains and walks naked in the sun with nothing that suggests modesty. He's perfect. I find myself thinking that far too often. He bends over to pull on his boxers and throws a wicked look back at me. It's not even a performance. This is Clark every day, right here.
"Why are you still with me?" I ask, the words pushing their way out of my mouth, like the hand on my chest itching to move downwards.
Clark turns around, pulling on his shirt and putting on a smile. "You haven't figured it out yet?"
He buttons his shirt and takes a step forward. Piece by piece, Clark covers himself up. I want to close my eyes and bring the sun-kissed Clark back into my dreams, but instead, I keep them open. Sometimes, Clark in a suit is just as nice.
My foot peeks out from under the sheet. Clark grabs my toe and brings my attention back in front of me.
"I've figured out a lot of things about you, Clark. I know how you like your coffee, where you like to be kissed, and when you're in the right mood to let me buy you expensive things."
"Yeah?" He turns back to the closet for a tie. "Can you tell now?"
I pull my foot back under the covers and study him from my curled up position on the bed.
"I don't know. Let me see your face again?"
His tie is tied in a messy knot when Clark turns around. Any other morning, I'd be across the room, fixing it, and standing too close. It's why Clark pretends he still can't tie his tie. I pull my eyes up where he's waiting with a knowing smile.
"It's too early to tell," I say.
"I'm disappointed, Lex." He looks it too. His face falls, like a well-played move. Like he's trying to get me out of bed, even though he's the one telling me to sleep in.
"Too early for you, not me, Clark. You haven't picked your mood yet."
He doesn't say anything while he finishes dressing. Pants and belt, socks and shoes, and pulls on his jacket. Then he leans down to grab the glasses off the bedside table, and catches me in a kiss.
"That's why I'm still with you. You know me, even when I haven't decided who to be." I reach out to pull him down, but not fast enough. He grabs his wallet from the dresser and turns back at the door. "And stay in bed. These are obviously the ramblings of a sleep-deprived man."
I'm still in bed, waiting, when Clark comes home to me.